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By: Author Amanda Mouttaki. Expat. There is a lot of baggage that comes with marrying an Arab man. The American reference point for this part of the world is limited to what they see in movies and what is on the news. Sure there are some Americans who have been to this part of the world but they are few and far between. I really wish I would have kept a notebook with all of the comments I have received over the years.
Most assume all Arabs are Muslim. This is just one of the many assumptions people have based on their limited experiences with people of this background. These are a few of the other assumptions people have had about my husband not him as a person but him as an Arab man. I tried to pick the ones that I have heard the most often and were the most shocking to me.
You can insert any of those words at various times in our relationship. This was a comment regularly made by people who heard about our relationship in the beginning.
It was interesting to me that the us vs them mentality always existed in this example. Never mind that most people lumped everyone who is of Arabic descent into the same category and culture. There are a host of things that there were an expectation I would do, but the idea that somehow I was subjugated to serve him was a notion that blew me out of the water.
Hijab is a choice that Muslim women make. It has little relationship to the man you marry unless that man is very religious and would like his wife to wear it.
On a more practical note, how can someone force you to wear a hecarf? Glue it to your head? There was more to this story after I asked how that works. Including trap doors and underground prisons. I know this is a real issue but to assume all of this based on ethnicity is absurd. Not to mention that people were serious when saying this, not just making a off-color joke.
However, child abductions occur by men and women of every race and ethnicity. Being Arabic does not predispose someone to engaging in this type of behavior. I know most men would be calling for backup after about two days of having the kids on their own. Arab Muslim men are permitted to have up to four wives in many countries. The US is not one of them.
In most other countries, including Morocco, the permission of the first wife must be in place before a second marriage can occur, not to mention he must prove he can financially provide for two homes before a judge. If I ever had an inkling this were a remote possibility I would file for divorce.
There is a reason for having multiple wives and it works for some people. It also makes me sad that there is such fear and hostility in most people towards Arabic people. I try not to get too offended anymore and use the opportunities when comments like this arise to educate and show people a different reality.
One positive experience can help to change that. Are you in a cross cultural relationship or considering one? Check out my digital guide to navigating the issues and questions that come up! Do you want access to all things MarocMama? our community of readers to get updates on new posts, inside information that won't go on the blog and so much more! I don't know how many times I have been told he was going to sell me as a sex slave and my parents were sure he was going to come after their inheritance. Hi, It's nice to come here and read some real life stories.
Currently I'm dating a muslim Arab guy for almost 6 years now. We are trying to take our relationship to the next level marriage. I'm not a muslim but living in Malaysia multiracial country. I've seen some fair amount of muslim people and their lifestyle in Malaysia however its not as strict as in Saudi, its quite open here in Malaysia. My partner is getting very religious and wants me to convert and practice islam fully.
He is asking me to change the way i dress. I have compromise to wear long jeans and cover top but its not enough for him, I cant even wear fitted jeans which i usually wear cause he thinks it shows my curves and guys will look at me. I don't see a problem wearing a fitted jeans as long its covered and not torn. Is it wrong? I stand very strong in what I believe and want, I'm finding it hard to follow his way on how he wants me to be.
He believes that if I follow him and his wayit would make him happy and we would be happy because we are following the correct islam way. I'm afraid that after marrying, it will be worst and he will have it his way no matter what and we will end up with a divorce or worst. I don't mind converting to a muslim and treating my husband like a king but I cant stand being control and be told what to do. I don't know if I can be the muslim wife he wants me to be. I was not born muslim or live a muslim lifestyleI was not exposed to islam until I met him.
He is expecting too much from me and not seeing the sacrifices that I would need to take to convert to muslim. I hope I would be able to get some advice on this matter. I would love to know how other couple that have gone through the same thing overcome it. Stay away get American man this guy will take your good energy and he sounds selfish. Not good at all. Hi, I am a Muslim woman.
A revert, you have to accept Islam of your own free will. My husband never forced anything on me or our daughter or sons. He led by example of being a good person who happened to be Muslim. This is really interesting as I went through the same thing in Malaysia with a guy. My culture was ok until things got more serious then he wanted me to change.
It was never going to work. If you don't feel comfortable with the things he is asking now, he's not going to change and back off. You should have the same expectations for him as you would of someone from your own culture. It's one thing to have give and take in a relationship but it's another when your partner is asking you to fundamentally change and you're not comfortable with it. What you wrote makes me uncomfortable and if I were your sister or friend I would say you need to seriously reconsider your relationship.
I recently married my Lebanese boyfriend of five years we knew each other for seven years in total. I think it is not fair to generalize I have met Arab men who fit the stereotypes, and others who definitely do not. I walked into a Lebanese fast-food restaurant here in Canada seven years ago and was sideswiped by a case of love at first sight did not believe in it before; neither did he with the man on the other side of the counter, as was he So it was a difficult marriage I have met her I like her, but I can Submissive boyfreind you can arab adult hookupss on where they might have rubbed each other the wrong way at times.
They moved to Canada, and three years later divorced when their son was 4. He was alone for over 25 years So he had given up. After we had that case of love Submissive boyfreind you can arab adult hookupss on first sight, nothing happened for two years out of fear, among other things, but we could not deny something was there.
We became a couple, and took it slow And I could see he was a really good man in a bad situation. He could not take me out to dinner, but he could cook for me at home And he slowly recognized that in his 50s, he finally did deserve his own life Lebanese men are often very devoted to their families, which is a good thing, but as I pointed out, it should work both ways, and family should understand that he is in debt and not doing well, and perhaps should be the one helping him He is Moslem and I am Christian, but it turned out that we had a similar way of looking at the world, shared the same values, etc.
I am very strong and independent, but recognize his need to be "the man", and in turn he listens to my advice, and does not make me feel weakSubmissive boyfreind you can arab adult hookupss on
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6 Assumptions People Make When They Hear Your Husband is Arab