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No, affairs ussually start out as friendships and out of now where you find your self in a hotel with each other before you realize what just happened. But there really is no cookie cutter affair or cookie cutter marriage so the all have different aspects.
I sugguest you read that book also and it give you a better understanding of not just affairs, but what got you to this point in your marriage. Yes you are correct the life, career is a reason why a sex life dwindles. But when you take away a need that the other person has, be it "admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, family commitment, openness, ect. And Oh, yes, your marriage feels like your just room mates sometimes. And as to the question about staying in marriage when the needs are not being met.
You must not have or money involved. Who get the if there is a divorse. What they think. They become pawns in a battle that they no nothing about. Who get's the 1 million dollar home, cars, vacation home, ect. And there is also that voice that says It get better, they be like they were before. They turn around. But I don't believe that they stay in thier marriage forever.
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