Added: Shalea Turk - Date: 10.11.2021 17:13 - Views: 34944 - Clicks: 7830
I have spent the last 2 yrs online dating without a lot of luck. I feel my bad luck with online dating is because I have never been clear about what I am looking for. I believe the reason why I wasn't clear is because I really didn't know exactly what I was looking for until recently. Once I figured out exactly what I am looking for ,I was then afraid to admit it because it makes me come accross as only being interested in sex.
Hey what can I say ,sex is one of my top 3 things of importance. What I am Looking for monogamous fwb for is a long term monogamous FWB ,if there is such a thing. I have no interest in ever getting married again, because I have been married more than once ,and know that marriage is not for me.
I seriously doubt I ever want to live with a man again as well ,but slumber parties at each others houses can be fun. I like my freedom and space. I would like to be able to call someone up and say " Hey Baby wanna play hide the salami? I like keeping my home life separate from any relationship I may have. I would be perfectly content with a man never meeting my children and I really have no interest in being involved with their children if they have them,because in most cases ,other than my childrenI really don't like.
I like choosing when I allow people in my space. I don't have to many requirements for a man but the main one is I NEED to be the only person they are sleeping with as they would be with me. This one point seems to be what is hanging me up because I come accross the men who want to dip their poles in several ponds and I don't want to have to worry about STD's and I don't like sharing. I have been told I will likely not find what I am looking for by more then one Looking for monogamous fwb. I was told I won't find this because I am not offering my total self to someone,but only a part of myself.
I have always held a part of myself back ,even in my marriages. It is much easier for me to gave a man my body then my heartbecause it is safer. Hey the only time I offered my total self to someone ,I was rejected and hurt with my heart lying exposed and bleeding ,so I am not interested in going there again.
Am I asking for the impossible? Will I ever find this? Thought please. I think FWB is just fine. But, this part struck me. Do you really want to give up on love because of one guy who, in the end, didn't deserve your heart? I can see your point but what would you call what I am looking for then? I have tried coming up with the words to discribe what I am looking for and this is the closest I have come.
I don't want to give up on love. I would like nothing more than to love someone and have someone love me ,but I just don't want all the crap that goes along with it.
I spent my entire life looking for love without much success so I guess we can call this self preservation ,a way to protect myself from hurt. I had people tell me the kind of relationship I wanted wasn't possible either, but I refused to believe them. I've come to realize that when someone tells you "that kind of relationship isn't possible" what they're really saying is that it's not possible for them.
Not that it's not possible for you or for some other like-minded person Knowing what you want is half the battle. Finding someone who is looking for something simliar is the other half. I won't tell you what you want is not possible, but I think it would be accurate and fair to say that it will probably be difficult to find. But you could you say that about someone who was looking to be in a more "traditional" kind of relationship, too. Decisions motivated by fear aren't a good way to live one's life.
They tend to really limit our experiences, our growth, and ultimately, they limit ourselves. Being rejected and hurt is no picnic Where are all these men whose emotional drive is to be loved?
Apparently not where I live. LOL I have yet to find one. I keep coming Looking for monogamous fwb the ones who are so damaged by what other women have done to hurt themthat I can't even get a foot in the door. They seem to want to blame me or be of the thought that since past women have hurt them that I will hurt them as well, so they aren't even willing to let me in. I guess it all comes down to self preservation. Part of loving someone and being loved in return is loving ALL of them -- the good, the bad and the ugly.
You can't just pick the parts you want and leave the rest like you can at, say, an AA meeting. There's always going to be some portions that you don't like or that are crappy or painful If you are approaching this with an attitude of it being "self preservation" and that you cannot let your guard down because you will not allow someone to hurt you again, you are going to attract exactly what you've been getting. I think you are hiding from something emotionally. We must face our fears and learn who we are and what we truly want.
It sounds like you want to love and be loved but you do not want to risk your heart or put in the work to that end. It is possible to find the person you seek but it won't last. You may just have to replace them every year The notions of commitment and fwb are mutually exclusive. What you are describing is a very independent relationship with minimal emotional investment by both parties.
As others have pointed out, Wounded, this is an extremely unrealistic idea.
Surely you've seen how ENA is flooded with posts from women who don't know how to handle their boyfriends' intense desires to commit to them and inability to use them solely for sex. My gender is so incredibly romantic and emotional that women have to force us to be more superficial and one-track-minded! Meanwhile, back in the universe where our planet has a blue sky, any breathing woman between the ages of, oh, 16 and 50 can't take more than two steps without tripping over a guy who wants sex and nothing else.
So, I'd say that your chances of finding a FWB are pretty good. The "exclusive" part is a bit trickier, I'll grant you. I suggest looking for a career-minded guy who doesn't have time for Looking for monogamous fwb regular relationship. Not a player, but someone who can't bother with dating and wants a steady person to rely on for sex.
By That36guy Started July 1. By bgustav1 Started Saturday at PM. By Southwest Started July 1. By Thatturtlehurdle2 Started June Is there such a thing as a long term monogamous FWB? Start new topic. Recommended Posts. WoundedHeart Posted November 21, Posted November 21, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options The main idea of an FWB means they do not love you, you can not impose rules on their sexuality, and they are there for sex only.
Read this part again. I question your ability to be happy with this mindset. I also agree with debaser wolf's observations about your mindset.
You are asking for a exclusive physical relationship. However, that condems the other person to a relationship with no emotional intimacy for "long term" as you put it. The primary human emotional drive is to be loved. I think it will be pretty hard to find someone that only has physical needs and wants to be exclusive. Love comes with crap, no way out of it. People are people with all their foibles. What you want isn't a FWB.
Be careful what you wish for Blue Spiral Posted November 21, Archived This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Go to topic listing. Top Discussions this Week.Looking for monogamous fwb
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