Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

Added: Renika Drost - Date: 04.02.2022 11:54 - Views: 10023 - Clicks: 1368

Crash Davis : This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well. Annie Savoy : These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy - kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other. Crash Davis : Time out.

Why do you get to choose? Annie Savoy : What?

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

Crash Davis : Why do you get to choose? I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose? Annie Savoy : Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other.

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do dick. You get million of them, they can build a cathedral. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?

Annie Savoy : Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. Ha ha, ha ha! Annie Savoy : Oh, where are you going? Crash Davis : After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart. Annie Savoy : What do you believe in, then? Crash Davis : Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the deated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Crash Davis : Goodnight.

Annie Savoy : Oh my. Crash Davis : [Mechanized bull noises in background] Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn't he? Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg. Crash Davis : Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the fucking bull! Guy gets a free steak! Crash Davis : You having fun yet? Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : Oh, yeah.

Havin' a blast. Crash Davis : Good. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : [pause] God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

Crash Davis : He did know. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : How? Crash Davis : I told him. Crash Davis : Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : [to himself] What's this guy know anyway? If he's so great how come he's been in the minors for ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?

Crash Davis : Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg. Crash Davis : Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think? Larry : [Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference] Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?

Crash Davis : Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live Crash Davis : We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. Crash Davis : Is that about right? Crash Davis : We're dealing with a lot of shit. Larry : Okay, well, uh Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em. Crash Davis : It's time to work on your interviews. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : My interviews?

What do I gotta do? You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : Got to play Crash Davis : 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down. Crash Davis : All right, then Crash Davis Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : I'd kill you! Crash Davis : Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.

Crash Davis : Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob. Crash Davis : Yeah, I was in the show.

I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : How come you don't like me?

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

Crash Davis : Because you don't respect yourself, which is your problem. But you don't respect the game, and that's my problem. You got a gift. Crash Davis : You got a gift. When you were a baby, the Gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt.

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you're pissing it away. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : I ain't pissing nothing away. I got a Porsche already; I got a with a quadrophonic Blaupunkt. Crash Davis : Christ, you don't need a quadrophonic Blaupunkt! What you need is a curveball! In the show, everybody can hit a fastball! Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : Well, how would you know?

YOU been in the majors? Crash Davis : Yeah, I've been in the majors. Crash Davis : Come on, Rook. Show us that million-dollar arm, 'cause I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours. Crash Davis : I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon. Crash Davis : You be cocky and arrogant, even when you're getting beat.

Looking for a down to Durham kinda guy

email: [email protected] - phone:(197) 410-1799 x 6965

Kevin Costner: Crash Davis